JP has entered the chronicles
The visit received a flawless 5 out of 5 stars. Apparently, the hosts alone are reason enough to return.
For posterity, JP leaves behind one particularly explosive rumour:
“Mati is a spy for the Chinese government.”
One question remains for future visitors to the throne:
“Who is my father?”
JP rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s entry at a modest 1 out of 5 stars.
And finally, one statement shall be preserved for generations to come:
“Eli and Daniel are the GOATs. 🐐”
SOFIA has entered the chronicles
Sofia also awards her visit a flawless 5 out of 5 stars with the hosts themselves apparently being reason enough to return.
For posterity, she leaves behind a potentially lucrative rumour:
If I knew how it worked, I’d be Elisa’s OnlyFan … hehe.
For the next visitor to the throne, she leaves a somewhat more profound question:
Did you have a conversation at the party that moved you and that you’ll still be thinking about later?
Sofia innocently rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at just 1 out of 5 stars.
And finally:
Love you guys!!! Thanks for having me.
Verevkina / Queen has entered the chronicles
A suitably regal 5 out of 5 stars for the visit. There are apparently plenty of reasons to return: food & drinks, the Porcelain Throne, the hosts and not to be forgotten the incredible guests.
For posterity, however, one culinary scandal must be documented:
“Rumour has it that one of the hosts (the male one 🙃) used CHAMPAGNE for his Aperol Spritz. #SoulsCrying”
The Queen leaves the next visitor to the throne with an existential question:
“If you could become someone else for a day, who would you be?”
The likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s entry? A confident 5 out of 5 stars.
And finally, a message that must be preserved for future generations:
“Pyatachok saves the world!”
MORITZ has entered the chronicles
Moritz awards his visit 5 out of 5 stars. There are three compelling reasons to return: the Porcelain Throne, food & drinks and, of course, the hosts.
For posterity, he documents a mysterious observation from the smallest room in the house:
There were bird sounds coming from the bathroom. Thank God there were no spiders.
For future visitors to the throne, Moritz leaves a question requiring some serious investigative work:
Which items in the apartment did Eli not build herself?
Moritz considers the chances of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles rather high, at 4 out of 5 stars.
MATI has entered the chronicles
Mati awards his visit a flawless 5 out of 5 stars, citing the hosts as well as the food & drinks as more than enough reason to return.
For posterity, he also reveals the alleged secret behind a certain house beverage:
“The secret to Eli’s kombucha being so good is that she’s adding magic mushrooms to the mix.”
One question remains mysteriously unanswered for future visitors to the throne:
“Who stained the outdoor sofa?”
As for the likelihood that he is already the subject of someone else’s entry, Mati gives himself a confident 5 out of 5 stars.
And finally, he leaves behind one suspiciously specific piece of wisdom:
“Rainwater alone will clean just about anything…”
Steven & Michèle have entered the chronicles
Their visit earns a well-deserved 5 out of 5 stars, with food & drinks and the hosts apparently providing more than enough reason to return.
For posterity, the two also dare to make a remarkably specific prediction:
Rumour has it that on 24 December 2026, Elli & Dani will have far too many glasses of champagne at Lörrach Marktplatz … or beer 🍻 P.S. Of course, we’ll be there tooooo.
One important question remains for future visitors to the throne:
What drink (other than beer) can Dani actually make?
Steven & Michèle modestly rate the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at just 2 out of 5 stars.
Grete has entered the chronicles
hauke has entered the chronicles
Grete awards her visit 5 out of 5 stars. The hosts and the interior provide more than enough reason to return – although she makes a point of noting that she hasn’t (yet) been asked whether she’d like to come back.
For posterity, she also documents an important moment in beverage history:
Rumour has it that the Aperoyal was invented here. 🍾
Grete leaves future visitors to the throne with a question that, once asked, cannot be unseen:
Why are the kitchen cabinet doors actually crooked? 🤔
She innocently rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at just 1 out of 5 stars.
And finally, Grete leaves the hosts with perhaps the finest blessing of the evening:
Thank you for the wonderful evening and the amazing hospitality! It was so lovely to finally meet you 🙂 May your new home always be filled with lovely people, great stories and plenty of toilet paper. 🧻💛
Hauke awards his visit a convincing 5 out of 5 stars... apparently, the hosts alone are reason enough to return.
For posterity, however, he documents some rather concerning inconsistencies in the company’s corporate purpose:
Neither porcelain nor seating arrangements are listed in Maslow & Company’s corporate purpose, yet mind-altering substances seem to be mentioned rather frequently around here … Are we still operating within the bounds of the law?
Another matter also appears to require urgent investigation. Hauke leaves future visitors to the throne with one question:
How did the snail get onto the balcony?
Hauke innocently rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at just 1 out of 5 stars.
And finally, one clear strategic recommendation is left for the hosts:
The Aperoyale concept should be pursued further.
Schletti has entered the chronicles
Schletti awards the visit a flawless 5 out of 5 stars. Food & drinks, the hosts and, quite simply, the whole package provide more than enough reason to return.
For posterity, however, Schletti documents a rather concerning theory about the local wildlife:
Have you ever heard of the Kahuli Tree Snail? There are genuine signs that snails are being bred among the dense leaves of the atrium. Weren’t those two in Hawaii just earlier in 2026 …?
Future visitors to the throne are also left with a physical challenge:“How many pull-ups can you do?
Schletti modestly rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at 2 out of 5 stars.
And finally, a piece of wisdom for generations to come:
“Happiness is only real when shared!”
Movie recommendation: Into the Wild
ISAAC has entered the chronicles
Isaac awards his visit a confident 5 out of 5 stars, citing food & drinks and the hosts as more than enough reason to return.
For posterity, he leaves behind a geographical revelation somewhere between rumour and enlightenment:
“Interlaken is named like that because it’s in between lakes… is that a rumour or a mind opener? I’ll let you be the judge of that.”
For future visitors to the throne, however, Isaac leaves a question that has apparently been keeping him awake for years:
“Why is there only 10 numbers (0, 1, 2, …, 9) and we count in base ten? It’s been bothering me for years. I need to sleep…”
Isaac rates the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at a relatively relaxed 2 out of 5 stars.
Heibelinos Señorita & Señor have entered the chronicles together.
The Heibelinos award their stay a respectable 5 out of 5 stars. Reasons to return include the hosts, food & drinks, the Porcelain Throne and – for those who can handle it – the tropical cold.
For posterity, they also document a previously unconfirmed house rule:
“Guests are allowed a maximum of 10 minutes in the shower.”
They leave future visitors to the throne with a question suggesting that sleeping arrangements may not have quite met conventional hotel standards:
“Did you have to sleep in the hammock too?”
Señorita & Señor rate the likelihood of already being the subject of someone else’s chronicles at a solid 3 out of 5 stars.
And finally, one piece of advice future guests may want to take seriously: “Make sure you get some investment tips.”
